Cymbalta day 1

I took my first dose of cymbalta last night. Within an hour of swallowing that little blue and white capsule I felt strange. A wave of sleepiness slowly swept over me. I was soon dozing off to la-la land. I woke a few times overnight, conscious of being slightly nauseated, but promptly fell back asleep.

It's 642am. I am awake, tired but awake. I woke up an hour ago.  I'm not groggy. I have no pain or stiffness...yet. Slightly queezy. I'm usually not awake until 930am, and then it takes at least two hours to get out of bed. Thank God for my parents and sister! They take care of things until I'm up and moving. I'm going back to sleep.

At 917am I am awoken by a phone call. I don't like being woken up. I'm still drowsy. I lay in bed trying to fall asleep but to no avail. I finally drag myself from bed around 11am. I'm not achy or stiff, just tired. I think I'll take my next dose an hour earlier to see if I can sleep of the drowsiness. I'm weaning off of one pill and weaning onto cymbalta on an evey other day regimen. My next cymbalta dose will be Wednesday evening.

It's noon and I find my self putting some recycling out. This is something that I couldn't even think about yesterday, let alone do. Now that I am taking stock of my accomplishments, I realize that I have corrected the children's work without getting dizzy or nauseous. I made myself a smoothie, something I haven't done in a few weeks. I have been downstairs for over an hour. That's an achievement! I will still need an afternoon nap, but so far so good.

Possible diagnosis

My family doctor called me in last Friday. He had my blood test results. I had already seen them online so I had an inkling as to why he wanted to see me. My A1C is 6.4, down from 7. That's excellent! I'd like to get it down to below 6. That would make me "diabetes free". In my case this may mean no mess but I will still have to follow a specific diet to ensure my numbers don't go up again.

My liver reading is still high. According to my MD more weight loss is the way to combat this. So, onwards and upwards on this health care hike!

He had some shocking news from the rheumatologist. The rheumatologist has refused to take me on as a patient as he doesn't think I have a condition that relates to his field of expertise. Ok. So, no lupus? My MD is treating this as fibromyalgia. I was scared of this. There's not much that can be done. Fibromyalgia is tricky to diagnose and difficult to treat. I'll be starting cymbalta soon. We'll see how this goes.

Grief

Grief, it's such a hard thing. I'm mourning the loss of ability. I want to grocery shop, drive, or even crochet without exhaustion. I've had to rely more on my family lately. I don't like burdening them.
Glory to God in all things though, and as one friend said to me, "Keep your mind in hell and despair not." St. Silouan the Athonite. It's like saying, "Keep your head up", even though it seems as though you're drowning.  You may be in hell right now but do not lose sight of your salvation and the One who cares for you. We live in a broken universe. This means bad things can happen to nice people and vice versa. Illness is an unfortunate consequence of the brokenness of this world. I dont ask God why I'm sick. It's never crossed my mind. I'm more concerned with the 'what' (what this illness means for me and my family) than the 'why'. I am grateful for that. Glory to God in all things! Good, bad, or ugly.

Rough day

Today has been the worst since this flare up started. I'm feverish and hurting. Emotionally, I'm lost. I don't know what to do in my situation. At times like this I need help all day everyday. Being in limbo sucks. I don't know if I can get government help with that. We can't afford home care unless we move. I don't want to move, but wants and needs are two different things.