I thought you were better.

"Why are you using the cane?"
"Because I need it."
"But I thought you were all better."
"What mommy has is not going to go away. Some days are good and some days are bad."
This is a quick conversation that I had with my 8 year old while getting ready to venture out to the grocery store with my husband and our two youngest children, after taking one 400 milligram advil to take the edge of the pain off. This is something I will have to explain not only to my children on an ongoing basis, but to grown adults as well. Some people seem to think that you can get better but there is no getting better. This is a new way of life. My plans have to be flexible, and so do theirs. I may lose touch with some people through this illness but it can't be helped. I can't go out when I want or when someone else wants me to. I need to listen to my body. I need to take care of myself, even when I feel well, because right around the corner a crash looms.